Coaching Made Simple

Hello, Chad Weinstein here.  I am pleased to introduce Tom Laughlin to this blog, though he’s been a part of ELA since its inception. Tom serves as ELA’s director of publishing and brings broad expertise that has been critical to the success of ELA (and, more importantly, to our clients’ successes). Coaching, the topic of this article, is one such area of expertise.  You can read about Tom’s background on our profiles page.

Coaching Made Simple
By Tom Laughlin

Coaching has been a hot topic in management for years. Life coaches promise to make employees more engaged, executive coaches pledge to make leaders more effective, and coaching schools proclaim that productivity will improve if people incorporate this collaborative approach into the workplace.

When I first heard what coaching offered I was a little confused. I grew up watching Vince Lombardi kick his players and Bobby Knight throw chairs at fans. I needed a new definition of coaching. I learned that a coach helps people perform by supporting, counseling, and teaching them. In a word, empowering them.

In this article I present a simple coaching framework for use by anyone who wants to access this powerful method of helping others. For clarity, I refer to anyone being coached as a client whether they are your subordinate, peer, customer, supplier, or supervisor. Yes, coaching is an effective way to work with your boss.

REFLECT
When you reflect, you share your perception of the client’s situation. Anyone who has studied interpersonal communication recognizes this as active listening. Just like a mirror, you show the person an image of their situation.

Reflect all dimensions of the situation including facts, thoughts, feelings, and desires. Listen carefully and make sure you have a complete picture of each dimension before you reflect. Many times an aspect mentioned in passing gains new significance when you reflect it. I had a client in career transition struggling to make a decision about a job offer. When I reflected that she missed her friends she broke down in tears. She was stuck because she hadn’t dealt with her loss so we talked about how to process her grief rather than how to make a decision.

Consolidate the situation. Clients perceive their situation in pieces and struggle to see the bigger picture. To consolidate you must develop an integrated perspective of a situation by listening thoroughly and completely to the client’s entire story. Once, at the end of a conversation, I told a client his situation contained so many issues that it seemed disorienting. He discovered that his problem was the number not the nature of the issues. We looked for ways to lighten his workload rather than resolve individual issues.

REFRAME
You reframe to help clients more thoroughly understand their situation. All situations have multiple explanations but clients have a hard time seeing more than just one or two. By reframing, you help the client gain insight by considering alternative explanations.

Generate several explanations. After you understand the client’s explanation(s) share your own. A broad set of explanations improves problem solving by uncovering the complexity of a situation. I had a client who worried about taking a job because she thought the new organization might be too demanding. As we pushed for other explanations she realized that she had also projected her own tough standards onto the new organization. She was just as concerned that the new organization wouldn’t meet her own tough standards.

Have your clients look to others for alternative explanations. Ask how their boss, peers, subordinates, kids, friends, or competitors might explain the situation. Other people involved can offer insights, even when they’re not actually there. Asking what others might think also helps you and the client consider other stakeholders in a situation.

RESOLVE
By this time the client has a clear understanding of their situation. In fact, understanding may be resolution enough. Not all situations warrant action. When action is required help your client generate options, choose a course of action, and refine their choice. But don’t give advice. As a coach, you help your clients develop their own answers.

Consider numerous options. If you have difficulty generating options ask your client what won’t work. You’ll be amazed how many great ideas come from what the client thinks impossible. Also, ask what the client thinks their boss, peers, subordinates, or competitors would do. Finally, in the initial stages of generating options make sure neither you nor the client gets attached to any particular solution.

Once you have generated numerous options have the client create an optimal solution. Don’t be tempted to offer your own. Your job is to help the client generate their own solution. Clients will be much more willing and able to execute solutions they develop themselves so when you offer suggestions and opinions make sure they retain ownership of their solutions.

Now challenge the solution. Ask how they can improve the solution and what risks they see. Give your own suggestions and assessment after they finish. Then, if the client still likes the solution, incorporate the improvements and discuss how to eliminate or minimize the risks.

IN SUMMARY
By remembering the three R’s of coaching you will have a potent yet simple technique to guide you. Next time someone asks for help or advice take out a piece of paper, write reflect/reframe/resolve, and start coaching.

If you would like more information about ELA’s coaching programs please visit out coaching page or contact me at tlaughlin@ethinact.com.

See a list of other posts in this series at https://ethinact.com/blog-post-series/

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